In a bizarre twist in the Volkswagen car emissions fiasco today, renowned clock watcher Tom Walker of Bury Frozen Foods Ltd, revealed that the main clock at his firm was running half an hour slow but is always correct when he clocks on, meaning that everybody was working for longer than they had to, but still paid hourly. It transpires that German technology giant Uberfecker GMBH were responsible for supplying software for engine management as well as for clocks. Uberfecker GMBH is run by a reclusive ex-hacker named Zorba the Geek. We tried to contact the company at lunchtime today but only got their answerphone message which said they closed at 5pm, try again in January.
In further revelations it has been established the same software, albeit sometimes used to adjust time the other way, is used in Westminster Bars, taxis, brothels, taxis, private members clubs, taxis and home CCTV systems.
Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is
for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no
responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is
all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events,
people or places, you are plainly mistaken.
