Argentina's economy boosted

Argentina's president Kristina Kirchner today proudly announced a new banknote featuring the Falkland Islands as a main image. Apart from the obvious typo on the name, the unfortunate serial number (140682), Argentina's financial outlook has been raised from hopeless to basket case. 

The new fifty pesos note is currently valued at £3.70  £3.15  £2.68   £2.20

In other news, sales of wheelbarrows in Argentina have tripled in as many weeks.


Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events, people or places, you are plainly mistaken.

Mclaren to rethink strategy

Formula 1 racing team McLaren are set to dispense with crash testing after Fernando Alonso thumped his car during the pre-season run up. Team principle Ron Dennis explained that new technology was now available to perform crash testing on a multimillion pound computer simulator lent to them by Nintendo. "It's now time to stop our drivers from having to pile into the barriers at these speeds because it costs a lot to hire a helicopter each time.
In a statement read from his hospital bed Fernando said "I'm really disappointed in my crash performance last week, and I'd like to apologise to the fans for making a pig's ear of the whole thing.
I had intended on doing a proper job and providing valuable data for our designers. It's time to stop practice crashing and concentrate on getting the car to do a lap instead"

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events, people or places, you are plainly mistaken.

Liverpool gone...

Less than twenty four hours since it's residents began to react rather badly to the gentle and subtle ribbing by Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson, the city of Liverpool has completely vanished.
Liverpool's mayor, Rick Withington, speaking from his home in Chester said he was shocked and saddened that his beloved city had simply disappeared, but that it was probably for the best.
Despite the suspicion falling on Jeremy Clarkson, police believe it was an inside job owing to the city boundary being propped up by thousands of brick piles.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events, people or places, you are plainly mistaken.

Ho's of Parliament

A new offence of kerb crawling is to be introduced by the legislature for people seen soliciting with their members of parliament or the Lords.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events you are plainly mistaken.

Dubai skyscaper faces rename

Authorities in Dubai are today are in frantic discussions with developers of the worlds tallest residential skyscaper after the previous record holder, 'The Torch' was severely damaged by fire yesterday.
Umar Lumpar Holdings said that they had received warnings that 'The Toppler' should be renamed to something less foreboding. Among the suggested alternatives proposed by business leaders were: Lucky Strike House, The Swan Vesta Building, Kindling Villas and Tinder Gardens.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events you are plainly mistaken.

Clever Chelsea fans

Chelsea fans travel tactics hit upon a cunning disguise designed to prevent their identities being revealed by CCTV or mobile phone images.

Football pundits are looking forward to Chelsea next match, an away friendly against Somalia.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events you are plainly mistaken.

It's official, iPhone's are shit!

Our smalltown everything guru Mark Richards has announced that despite never using an iPhone or having any personal knowledge of the devices that they are shit. Many years of observing the kind of people who have iPhones has led Mark to ascertain that they must be shit because he doesn't have one and they do. He concludes this using his limitless and unquestionably superior opinions and that conversely, Samsung devices are incredible. You can time travel, use them as interstellar space craft, ski on both water and snow using them. You can create sonic booms whilst effecting colour changes on aurora borealis by just staring at the technology, all whilst having conversations with aliens from other planets many thousands of light years from Earth. You clearly can't argue with this kind of functionality can you?

In other news, Samsung announce the closing of their flagship London store citing lack of interest in their products.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events you are plainly mistaken.

Was it good for you?

A recent police raid on the world famous London Medical Research Centre has uncovered a disturbing item which explains much of the recent health headlines in the press.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events you are plainly mistaken.

Bronzed off

World expert embarrassed at apparent gaff in attributing bronzes to Michelangelo.
The two bronzes which show naked men riding panthers had been linked with Michelangelo but Alberto Montellini from the Sorbonne Institute had earlier in the week confirmed they were definitely genuine pieces by the world famous artist.  
However, on a school visit to the museum currently exhibiting the bronzes, Juliet Morgan, a year five pupil from Monmouth Primary School, pointed out the manufacturing stamp on the panthers feet indicated that their authenticity needed clarification.
A red faced Mr Montellini gave no statement as he was whisked away in a taxi from Shanghai Hongqiao Airport.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events you are plainly mistaken.

One simple blood test is all you need

One simple blood test is all you may need to continue enjoying your life.
The procedure can be carried out by anybody with a small pin and is very quick.
Although no formal medical training or knowledge is required, a lobby group cited their concern that unscrupulous operators could pop up a gazebo in the high street and charge for this intrinsically free service. The test itself is explained here in an attempt to prevent rogue practitioners fleecing gullible members of the community. First sterilise a small pin, then make a small shallow prick into the finger and hold the finger up high. If red stuff comes out then crack on...

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events you are plainly mistaken.