Benedict Cumberbatch to be cloned?

It has been rumoured that the screen idol is to be cloned in what is described by his agent, Muchness & Morethan, as a necessary step to allow the original a 'bit of time off'.
"It is clear that the demand for his undoubtedly good looks and acting skills is such that without the controversial procedure, his career would be unlikely to fulfill it's maximum capability" said his agent.

To prevent any chances of confusion, each of the clones is to be given a different name which best describes their stereotyped futures and easier for advertising, film and TV agencies to choose the right one.
The first swathe of roles include an aged loser called Benefit Comfortblanket, a childrens character called Bellyflop Cabbagepatch, a failed sports star called Tumblebutt Fumblethrwack, a cheesy guitar legend Mumblestrum Candlewax and a potential leading role for Fifty Shades II named Bendydick Crinklesack.

Bellyflop Cabbagepatch

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events, people or places, you are plainly mistaken.