Now is the winter...

There is disarray this week as thousands of ordinary dead people emerge from their graves demanding a state funeral on the basis that they were also cold, mean, cruel, child killing despotic liars throughout their lives like King Richard III and should be properly recognised for it.
Dave 'the bastard' Maxwell originally from Luton said "It really pisses me off that I spent my whole life beating my wife and children, mugging old people, living of the sosh, stealing cars, gambling, getting into fights and killing folk, and they put me in a pine box in the municipal cemetery. Meanwhile that mincing twat Richard the turd gets an oak coffin, a cortege, a state funeral with people lining the street throwing flowers and shit!"

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events, people or places, you are plainly mistaken.