Taking back the pavements

The Police service have decided it's time to take a stand against children cycling on paths and pavements. The Stinger tyre deflation devices will be issued to all urban officers. Areas surrounding schools will be especially targeted and some inner city zones will see the use the new Stingazer, a conventional Stinger with a modified Tazer module which will subdue the offending child in the event that the Stinger on it's own may not be enough to suppress the out of control lawless toddlers of today.


Meanwhile the crown prosecution service are looking into the possibility of indicting cyclists with stabilisers because technically this is a four wheeled vehicle and thus counts as a car which carries the death penalty and has no age limitations.

Disclaimer: This story is satire - this means it is for entertainment only and is not true. Mr Anthrop accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information - it is all untrue. If you see any allegory or similarity with actual events, people or places, you are plainly mistaken.